A Roman Holiday
by Trynia Merin
Summary: DONE! It's Christmas and Chaunuka, and Lori is nervous because DM is very hard on new Agent Saul Stann. But when Crumhorn's latest plot involves stealing Roman Relics, can the agent prove his worth to DM?
1. Special agent Saul Stann

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Part 1

By Trynia Merin

I don't own DM, Cosgrove Hall does, but Lori, Bagel and Saul Stann are my characters. This is fanfiction!

***

Lori managed to drag the rest of her purchases up the lift to the landing of her new place. It was simply by elegantly furnished, in a classical style she had chosen from the agent's roster of furnishings, unlike the ultramodern style of DM's Mayfair pillar-box. She glanced around the 'flat', noticing that Bagel had set up her electric menorah near the small Christmas tree Lori had purchased. Already it was decorated with plain white lights and silver tinsel, and the collection of white, blue and silver glass balls among candy canes and homemade ornaments amount those she had collected over the years. Some were silver snowflakes, others were bronze. Still they made a nice arrangement, topped off with the snowy white angel that spread her wings and clutched two lights at the tree's top. Here and there Bagel had arranged evergreens and silver and blue bows, mingling Chanukah with Christmas trappings. Although Chanukah was a historic holiday instead of a religious one, Bagel insisted on going all out as her family did. Three lit bulbs told Lori it was the third night, and she sighed as she hauled her last minute purchases to her bedroom. Three small bedrooms, one for bagel, one for her and one guestroom were off the main area. It was camouflaged in a church rectory of all places. She could hear the singing coming from the choir room nearby, and chuckled that the vicar's postbox was her home. 

"Quiet as a church mouse," she chuckled, as she took out paper and began to wrap her presents in either silver or blue or red and green paper. When she was finished she added to the pile of presents near Bagel's menorah, and put a few under the tree for when DM and Penfold would come over for a Christmas party. She smelled latkahs and gingerbread baking in the kitchen, and smiled at the scent of hot coffee reaching her nose.

"Took you long enough to get back from shopping," Bagel said as she wandered out with her hands on her hips, wearing a plain white apron. A blue bow tied her brown straight hair back, and she pretended to look stern.

"Sorry, sis," Lori apologized as she straightened the angel atop the tree. 

"You know how I worry about those last minute nuts out to finish holiday shopping," Bagel shook her head. "I made us both some coffee… want?"

"Yep," Lori smiled.

"You know you REALLY don't have to buy presents for ALL eight nights," Bagel shook her head as she saw the new presents by the menorah. "It's starting to look like Macy's here!"

"What can I say?" Lori shrugged as Bagel shook her head and laughed at all the blue and white wrapped presents stacked there. "I can't help treating my friends. Besides SOME of those are for the new recruits…"

"You mean a certain gentleman friend of the Chanukah persuasion?" Bagel teased with a glint of mischief in her eye. "Just WHEN is your beau coming…"

"Bagel, knock it off!" Lori flushed.

"Oh don't mind me," Bagel smiled as she lit the four purple candles on Lori's advent wreath. She lit another candle on her menorah, and turned to Lori with a knowing smile.

"Honestly you're worse then my cousin!" Lori rolled her eyes. "When I wrote Fifi about Saul, she was wondering if we were going to be picking out CHINA patterns!"

"Face it, he likes you a LOT," Bagel winked as she took Lori's arm and guided her to the kitchen. "He writes you EVERY week, and calls at least TWICE a week to check up on you!"

"I hope they survive agent training," Lori sighed, as she shook her head, knowing Danger Mouse was conducting the training for the four new agents, and so far had many war stories to relate trying to get the colorful group to even LISTEN to him. So far he'd been shocked at least five times by Tommie, par broiled by Gila, and simonized by Saul's hypnotic ray, not to mention coming home with clawmarks from the Alley Katt in one session on street fighting.

"Well as long as DM survives THEM," Bagel giggled as she sat Lori at the small kitchen table, and rushed over to grab the coffeepot and pour two cups of hot java. She placed a plate of freshly buttered bagels with a particularly salty smell.

"Ugh, that isn't what I THINK it is, is it?" Lori wrinkled her nose as Bagel brought out a small jar and spooned the pickled fish on her toasted bread.

"Hey, having gefilte fish is part of the fun. You should try them," Bagel said through a mouthful of the salty stuff. She washed it down with a mouthful of coffee, and watched as Lori started to spoon sugar into her cup.

"I'll stick to sugar cookies," Lori chuckled as she helped herself to a few in the shape of trees and Santa clauses. "Dang, he SAID he'd be here at two."

"Who would THAT be?" Bagel grinned, as Lori got a faraway look in her eyes.

"Don't go there," Lori cautioned as she sipped coffee and spat it out. "UGH!"

"Next time don't sweeten your joe while you're thinking of your beau," Bagel further teased.

"If you keep this up, I'll ask you what you got your sweetie for the holidays!" Lori shot back as she wiped coffee off her plate.

"Honestly, the BIG deal people make about Chanukah," Bagel mumbled. "It isn't like it's a religious holiday… it's purely historic…"

"Bagel, I know ALL about the Maccabees," Lori said. "You're preaching to the choir. Eight nights of oil burning in the temple instead of one… the ruined temple at Jerusalem… etc…"

"I know, but try telling that to someone who is just showering you with gifts and making the mailman work double duty,' Bagel said as she pointed to a new tea cozy, three boxes of chocolates, and assorted teas stockpiled on the counter. No doubt Penfold was insistent on following the 'proper' Chanukah tradition.

They heard a knock at the door, and Lori started up, as Bagel continued to watch her. "I'll get it," she volunteered as she rushed over and opened the door. Lori tensed, expecting anything at this point.

"Ohh, for me?" asked Bagel. "Lovely…"

"No miss, you don't owe me anything," said a cheerful delivery person. A Scottish terrier held a bouquet of a dozen long stemmed red roses, and Lori's jaw dropped as Bagel turned around with a big grin on her face.

"Uh oh," Lori mumbled as Bagel walked right past her and into the kitchen.

"Let me see… a vase… hmmm…"

"Who are they from…"

"Nobody you'd be interested in," Bagel teased.

"Give me a break!" Lori groaned as she tried to grab the attached card away from Bagel. "Now give that here!"

"Oh no, you're too embarrassed to know," Bagel said as she slit open the card, after plunking the roses into a suitable crystal vase. "Hmm, to a special someone…"

"Gimmie!" Lori cried, snaking out her telescopic tail and snagging the card from a chuckling assistant. She snatched it from the hamster's fingers and stormed off to her room to open it. Bagel giggled at the look of mortification on Lori's face. It was all in fun, but she wondered if she had hurt her friend's feelings.

Lori slammed the door and opened the card. Her heart was pounding fast as she took the lovely greeting card from the blue envelope, and read the words written there in a casual yet flowery script. A warm flush came over her face, and she felt the cheer of the holidays overcome her at the message:

"A very merry Christmas to a lovely lady. What can I give except my heart? I know I don't QUITE get the reason for the season because we're not the same faith, but where it counts the feeling is mutual. Looking forward to seeing your lovely self later today. Love Saul."

Love, Saul, she pondered. Not sincerely or yours truly, but love. Dare she think that was possible? She had dated her fair share of agents, but something seemed far different about him. It wasn't the fact he was a rock star turned agent, or a handsome mouse that was the envy of millions of fans. Rather it was a warm feeling that told her he meant far more to her then many other suitors had over the short time they had known one another. Dare she think they had a possible future, considering the differences in their religious beliefs? Christens and Jews WERE known to have successful marriages… but under a certain tradition, if a mother was not Jewish, the children were also not. She and Saul had never even discussed the possibility of carrying things further, and soberly she realized she probably SHOULD bring up the subject.

"Oh for crying out loud, Jesus was Jewish," she mumbled.

What other people called them. Christ killers, and such. It was the Romans who had performed the crucifixion, even if the Jews had condemned Him to die. And the Romans were the infrastructure for the first church, which expanded over the last 2000 years. Yet a sweeter and kinder beau she had not known. He had asked questions about her tradition as she had about his, and they tried to find common ground. Sighing she sat down on the bed, and looked at the picture of them on her nightstand.

***

A knock sounded at the door, and Bagel rushed to answer it. She saw the gentlemouse behind it, sans makeup, with his dark brown eyes fixed into hers, and curly black hair falling over his shoulders. He was a black and white mouse, with white paws, and patches of black and white fur, his furry face white with black patches around his ears and forehead, his crisp white shirt left unbuttoned three buttons to reveal his furry black chest. His long tail curled gracefully, swishing nervously back and forth as he held a few gifts wrapped in silver and black, among a few in festive Santa and Christmas tree paper.

"L'chayem," he smiled to Bagel, who returned the greeting.

"Uh huh," Bagel nodded with a knowing smile. "If you're looking for a certain sweetheart of yours, she's brooding in her bedroom…"

"Aww rats, I hope I didn't embarrass her," Saul blushed cutely as Bagel ushered him in.

"C'mon in, let me take your coat and scarf, I've got some hot coffee… and those go over there…." She said shooing him in. He placed several presents by Bagel's menorah, and a few under the tree, which Bagel guessed, were for Lori. 

"Am I late?" he asked shyly, a sharp contrast from his rock star persona. Bagel guessed he had the heart of a musician, sensitive and fair, judging from his long graceful fingers that had calluses from playing the guitar. She knew the debate raging through his mind regarding Lori, for it mirrored her own dilemma.

"Oh no, you're just in time. Maybe you can convince Lori to get her head out of the bedroom before the others arrive…"

"The joint looks great," he glanced around. "And this is for you…" he handed her one of the presents. Bagel smiled as she tore off the wrapper and saw the fruit slices and marzipan there.

"Thanks, you did pick Lori's brain. These are my FAVORITES!"

"Sweets for the sweet assistant… I hope I didn't overdo it sending those flowers…"

"Nah, she'll get over it," Bagel shrugged. "So, is the Drill sergeant killing you yet?"

"Uh, let's just say we're all paying our dues. I can't help think that DM has it in for me… he seems harder on ME then the others… I mean Gila's a pain in the tail, but he isn't riding him nearly as hard as he is I. N matter WHAT I do, that guy doesn't let up! What's his deal? Is he playing the dad from heck role on Lori's behalf?" Saul joked as he took the cup of coffee Bagel handed him.

"Um, let's say that DM is protective of Lori, since he's dating her cousin…" said Bagel slowly. "I think he wants to prove that you're worthy of her… no offense…"

"And I thought MY parents would be a pain," Saul joked. 

"When are you introducing her to them?" Bagel asked.

"I'm going to ask her to come to NYC to meet them, later this week, for New Years," Saul smiled as he patted his coat pocket. "I have two tickets for a first class air trip… if she's game…"

"I'm sure she'll love it."

"Thanks to you, she'll know the drill," Saul said with a knowing wink at Bagel. "Since you said that your family practically adopted her…"

"Yeah, but Lori, I think she'll be MORE worried bout what DM thinks of you. I mean I have the feeling he'll give you the THIRD degree…"

"He already did," Saul sighed as he put down his coffee and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. He wore nice designer jeans with black boots, the Star of David shimmering silver at his throat. It was small, and not so obvious, but still present there. He glanced at the small nativity scene that Lori had over the fake mantelpiece, and sighed again, before his eyes rested on the menorah.

"Don't worry, if its MEANT to be, then you'll find a way," Bagel said.

"That's just it. She sometimes asks me WHAT I believe, and well, I'm not sure of what to tell her," said Saul as he looked gloomily at Bagel. "I mean for you and me, it's not so much WHAT we believe as how we live. Some of us don't even believe in God, but we stick to the traditions. I mean I believe in God, and I follow MOST of the traditions, but Lori has this thing about belief…. And I understand it for the most part… but I feel like part of her's just hidden from me… I know about the belief in Jesus and all, but there is this WHOLE thing about having God like a personal friend, and I guess… some of us don't always see that…"

"You think of God as abstract?" Bagel asked slowly. 

"Yep. I mean he DID create the universe, and he's the Author of all things, and the Mater of the universe. I went through Hebrew school and all, but Lori doesn't understand how I can believe in God and not be constantly looking over my shoulder for 'manifestations' and 'works of faith.' I live a good life… I'm good to others… I contribute to charity… I follow the Ten commandments for crying out loud!"

"To Christians, deeds alone don't matter," said Bagel slowly. "To them it's belief. Belief in Jesus, God, and all the works of faith. At least to the Lutherans and Protestants… I hear the Catholics believe in both deeds AND belief… and a CLOSE personal relationship with God through the persona of Jesus Christ."

"It's hard for me to grasp," Saul sighed. "I love her Bagel…"

"Wow," Bagel said slowly. "You used the 'l' word?"

"I guess I did," Saul blushed.

"Christians also say that God is love," Bagel shrugged. "Figure that out…"

"Huh," mumbled Saul, deep in thought.


	2. A roman robberry

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Part 2

By Trynia Merin

I don't own DM, Cosgrove Hall does, but Lori, Bagel and Saul Stann are my characters. This is fanfiction!

***

"Danger Mouse," said Penfold as they rode along in the Mark III.

"Mmm?" DM mumbled, in a funk of his own.

"Chief?" Penfold said. "What's eating at y'?"

"Mmm nothing Penfold," DM lied, although Penfold knew him well enough to see right through it.

"I know it's a singe mark but it WILL come out in the wash," Penfold said. "Don't worry DM…"

"Not my uniform Penfold, really!" DM snapped irritably.

"Well if it's the party, we DO have a full plate of cookies, and the champagne being chilled in the boot," Penfold said.

"That's not it either," DM sighed. "It's nothing…"

"You always get like this around the holidays," Penfold shook his head. "And then come Christmas morning it's all smiles and grins. I just don't get it, Chief…"

"The holiday brings out the best and worse in us all," DM said cryptically.

"Is it about Lori?" asked Penfold slowly. "And that there mouse she's dating? The pop star? When are you goin t' admit he's not so naff after all, like?"

"When he proves to me he's worth it," DM said slowly.

"Come off it DM, she's mad over him!" Penfold shook his head. "I really don't get you DM, going on about it, when she's over the moon about him! You said he got top marks on the agent's test, and colonel K himself said he's passed his exams!"

"Not my exams," DM mumbled.

"It isn't his relig…"

"Honesty Penfold that has NOTHING to do with it!" DM snapped. "You know I don't pass judgement on that basis! It's his LIFESTYLE, being a rock star that irks me!"

"Bagel's always telling me not to judge a book by its cover…" Penfold shrugged. "And anyway, can you TRY to be civil. It's only a little holiday party after all!"

"All right," DM sighed. "I'll TRY, but I wouldn't mind a life threatening world shattering mission about now…"

A blaring over the videophone was the answer to his silent prayer, and DM tuned in the snowy reception till Colonel K's image cleared and he looked up at DM and Penfold from his desk, festooned with ivy and holly and a small figure of Father Christmas. "Ah, Danger Mouse… got a world shattering mission for you…"

"Ah Colonel," DM smiled.

"Here he goes again," Penfold groaned. "We'll be late for the party!"

"Penfold, shush!" DM hissed. "Go on Colonel… is it a mad plot by Greenback, or someone else?"

"Worse."

"What could be worse?" Penfold shivered.

"Professor Crumhorn's at it again!" the Colonel banged his fist on the table so the snow globe rattled.

"Good grief, not the mad scientist of mayhem!" DM exclaimed. "What's he up to now?"

"He's stolen a very old artifact from the Roman display at the London Museum of art! It's a priceless sword and breastplate from the time of Augustus Caesar… and he's also stolen something else very odd…"

"What else?" DM asked, wondering just WHAT Crumhorn wanted with Roman relics?

"A very small hourglass. Not worth much, but it's ALSO from the same display. Strange, eh?"

"Well if Crumhorn pinched it, there's not telling WHAT terrible plot he's up to…" said DM angrily. "We have to stop him…"

"Aww heck, can't we just…" 

"No Penfold we can't!" DM snapped. "Danger Mouse out!"

"DM, you're deliberately using this as an excuse NOT to go to Lori's holiday party!" Penfold whined. "And I'll miss Bagel's latkes!"

"With any luck we'll polish Crumhorn off and be back for tea," DM said cheerfully as he turned the Mark III into a tight U-turn and roared off towards the London Museum of Art.

***

"What's going on?" Lori gasped as she rushed out to see the videophone, an identical one to DM's Fishuki set, buzzing with an alarm.

"Something's going down," Saul said seriously as he stood by Lori. "Hey, how are you doing pretty lady?"

"Umm, fine, Saul," she stammered.

"Hmmm it's more then an alarm turning red," Bagel joked.

"Colonel K to agent M6, come in!" said the Colonel.

"Reading you loud and clear," Lori said, turning her attention from Saul, despite her face flaming red.

"What's up Colonel?" Saul asked.

"Ah, agent Stann," he said. "Good show you're here too. We have an earth-shattering mission. I just sent Danger Mouse on the trail of Professor Crumhorn. He's stolen some artifacts from the Roman Exhibit at the London Art Museum…"

"Aww nuts you called us on a party just for some old roman ruins?" asked Bagel with disdain.

"Bagel, shh," Lori hissed. "What was stolen, and who is Crumhorn?"

"Only the worst mad scientist to grace the face of fair England," colonel K said seriously. "You have to go help DM in case he needs help."

"Sure thing, Colonel," Saul said. "You want me to go along?"

"By all means. And congratulations, agent Saul. You're officially a Cadet class 2 designee fully qualified agent. But you'll be partnering with Lori for this mission."

"Any codename for him?" asked Lori.

"Agent Magnet Davidge, I believe you asked…"

"That's Magen Daveed," Saul groaned, providing the correct pronunciation.

"C'mon let's go," Lori said as she rushed behind a changing screen and quickly moved into her agent's suit. Saul sat down between Lori and Bagel, who threw off her apron, and shook flour from her hands. The couch slid down quickly, and Bagel grasped Saul's arm tightly as they slid down the chute into the front of the Gail VI, and the engine started. Saul clung to the back seat of the car as Lori roared off into the afternoon.

"What would this Crumhorn dude want with a roman helmet, sword and an hourglass?" Saul asked Lori.

"I don't know, but DM told me all about how diabolical Crumhorn is. He was as dastardly to disguise himself as a little girl to coax DM and Penfold into helping him break into Fort Knox…"

"Oy," Bagel groaned.

"Sheesh," Stan shook his head. "One nasty guy… but we're going to help DM cancel his ticket, right ladies?"

"Right," nodded Lori as they rushed to the museum. They saw the Mark III already parked, and she pulled up behind it, and leapt out of the car as Bagel scrambled over the side and dropped to the pavement. Saul leapt gracefully over the side, having changed into a standard white and blue agent's uniform like Lori's.

"It's closed," Bagel whispered.

"No worries," Lori said. "C'mon let's go. It looks like DM already beat us here…"

"Lucky him," Saul mumbled as he followed the girls to the side entrance, where Lori showed her ID to the security guard. He waved them by, and the three rodents entered without much incident. Lori tried her wrist com, and heard DM's voice.

"Agent DM here…"

"M6 here, where are you, DM?"

"We're at the Roman exhibit. Stand by…"

"I'll check this wing," Lori said.

"Be on the lookout for anything. Crumhorn is EXTREMELY dangerous… there is no telling WHAT he can do…" said DM.

"Right," Lori said. "Saul, you and bagel stick close. And keep an eye peeled for clues."

"Both eyes," Saul mumbled as he glanced around, and reached out with his mental senses. There was something sinister in the air, and he shivered at a malevolence nearby. Was it Crumhorn?

They crept closer, and saw marble statues, finely carved, with tall pillars and inscriptions in Latin. Saul whistled through his teeth at the display for Julius Caesar. A proud wolf with a distinctively Roman snout peered imperially at them from beneath his laurel wreath. 

"There's a timeline," said Lori as she pointed to the Roman emperor.

"I once acted in Claudius," mumbled Saul. "Back in High school. One sick puppy…"

"Nero was worse," Lori shivered as she saw the Roman emperors pictured on the timeline. From Julius Caesar to Augustus, Tiberius, Nero and Vespacion they all stared imperial down. A model of the roman coliseum was untouched, and Bagel opened her mouth in awe at the models of the aqueducts. Lori glanced around and saw DM and Penfold round a corner.

"Anything yet?" Lori asked.

"Cor, are we glad to see you," Penfold breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the ladies and Saul.

"Some of us more then others," Saul mumbled as he caught DM's judging glare.

"Is he cleared to come along?" DM said slowly.

"Let's talk about that later," Saul cut him off. "Anything?"

"Nothing, except the missing items," DM said.

"Funny place for a grandfather clock," Bagel said as she pointed to one sitting nearby. 

"I'll be," Saul grinned as he walked over to look at where she pointed.

"Careful," Lori said as she stood at his side.

"What clock?" DM asked as Bagel walked over and looked at a grandfather clock that was sitting there. Saul had wandered over as well as Lori.

"That one," Bagel nodded with her head.

"The Romans must have given up on hourglasses," Saul joked as he reached into the clock.

"Wait a minute, don't touch anything!" DM gasped as he turned. 

"It's bigger on the inside then the outside," Saul said as he took a step inside.

"Strange," Lori said as she peered over his shoulder.

"Hold on, get away from it!" DM shouted as he recognized the enigmatic grandfather clock that had caused so many problems.

"What, it's just a clock," Bagel shrugged.

"Oh heck not THAT one again," Penfold pulled her back. 

"Get away!" DM shouted as he rushed toward Saul and Lori. He slipped on the marble floor, and went flying. Crashing into Lori he knocked her into Saul, who tumbled headfirst into the clock. Before Lori could untangle herself the door slammed shut, and DM gasped as he saw the mechanism whirring.

"Oh crumbs!" cried Penfold as he saw the clock suddenly vanish.

"NO!" DM shouted as he saw the clock fading from their time. "LORI! That IDIOT!"

"What is going on!" Bagel shrieked.

"Oh nothing, they really stepped into it THAT time, that's all, that's torn it!" DM snapped as he got up and dusted himself off. "They could be ANYWHEN."

"Don't you mean anywhere, and just WHAT is that thing?"

"A time machine," DM snapped. "And your agent's idiot boyfriend is fully responsible for this muff up!"

"Now wait a minute we had no idea!" Bagel shouted.

"He blunders RIGHT into it!" DM snapped. "And now we have to worry about HIM and LORI on top of CRUMHORN…"

"You don't need to worry about me, Danger Mouse. The mouse and the beau blundered blisteringly back in time…" Crumhorn laughed as he rounded the corner. Penfold grabbed Bagel's arm and hid behind her as the wolf walked out in a white labcoat, wearing a shiny centurion's helmet and roman breastplate under it. He was dressed as a Roman centurion as he cast off his labcoat.

"A bit late for Halloween, are we?" DM asked. "Are you responsible for that misbegotten clock…"

"Oh no Dangermouse. Your lovely lady lumbered into the trap I set for you. Once out of the way, I would have been free to go back in time and work my plot. But as you are here, you can witness my moment of triumph…"

"And what would THAT be?" asked Bagel in a squeak.

"Simple. Just think of how powerful the Roman Empire would be if they had entered the industrial age…"

"You're mad!" DM shouted.

"Am I? As I recall, there WAS an inventor called Heron of Alexandria who was THIS close to inventing the first steam engine. Just think what would have happened if he HAD my brilliance…"

"What?" Bagel gasped.

"You fiend, you can't think to…" DM gasped.

"Oh I can," smiled Crumhorn as he held up an hourglass. "Behold a simple roman hourglass. But fitted into my kzonker ray, and voila…"

"An expensive novelty clock?" Bagel wondered as he pulled out a strange ray gun and fitted the hourglass into it. 

"That's the kzonk ray!" cried DM. "look out!"

"Not you, but ME!" Crumhorn laughed as he aimed the kzonk over their heads, and DM pushed Bagel and Openfold down. The ray zinged over their heads, and bounced off the roman shield, hitting Crumhorn in the chest. "Just as I predicted. See you later, I'm just in time for my industrial revolution… in the ROMAN Empire… HAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Good grief, he wasn't aiming at us," gasped DM.

"What do you mean…" Bagel gasped.

"We have to get to Squarkencluck right away before Crumhorn plunges the Roman Empire into the Industrial Revolution, and we're all slaves of the Roman Empire in the 21st century!"

"It's ridiculous!" Bagel gasped as DM pressed the button on his wristwatch to call the Mark III. "He can't…"

"He can. The Roman Empire fell apart in the third century. But if they had the power of the steam engine, just think what they could have done by our time… we have to SAVE history!" DM gasped as he leapt into the Mark III as Bagel and Penfold scrambled in. They roared off at top speed to Squarkencluck's lab, hoping they could get there before the world as they knew it melted away….

***


	3. that grandfather clock AGAIN?

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Part 3

By Trynia Merin

"What the heck…" Lori got out as Saul helped her up, and they exchanged a panicked glance. The door of the grandfather clock was shut, and they saw the pendulum swinging in the space, which was the size of a closet.

"Uh oh, I think I blew it," Saul mumbled. "Sorry Lori…"

"Sorry nothing, it wasn't your fault," she said slowly. "But what…"

"I caught a flash of fear from DM just before we vanished, and I sensed an evil mind. I think it was Crumhorn. DM's last thoughts were about how stupid I was… because he's seen this clock before…"

"Huh?" Lori asked.

"The thoughts Time Machine… crossed his mind," Saul said soberly. "And we're stuck in it…"

"But how… what do we do?" Lori panicked. "What if we… oh no!"

"Easy love, we'll just see where we end up. I mean if this IS a time machine, maybe we can figure out HOW it works… and first see where we end up. I mean if we're going BACK into time… or forward," Saul mumbled.

"How you can be calm at a time like this is amazing," Lori sighed, trying to grip her agent's training as Saul looked up at the clock mechanism. The gears and mechanism belied the nature of the thing, and she peered out the door to see swirling messes of what must be centuries going by.

"What time?" she asked.

"Huh, we've stopped," said Saul slowly. "I think… I recall Crumhorn's last thoughts about setting a trap for DM… and it had to do with sending him back to the beginning of time…"

"Oh no…" Lori gasped. "But how far back…"

"If I boost you up maybe you can make sense of this thing… see if there are any numbers or anything…" Saul mumbled as he boosted Lori up. She scrambled up on his shoulders and saw the workings of the clock. Apart from some odd gears and crystals, she saw a needle that suddenly was twisted all the way as far as it could go, the marks in a strange language. She realized it was Greek… and groaned because she couldn't read Greek. Latin Maybe, but not Greek.

"It's literally all Greek to me," she mumbled. "Rats… I recognize the letters Alpha and Omega, and Zeta… but the needle is pushed all the way towards Alpha…"

"Beginning and end?" Saul muttered as he let Lori down.

"But if it's time, it could be any time…"

"How old is the world," Saul muttered. "4.6 billion years?"

"Some say it's only 6000 years old," Lori said softly.

"We'll find out, won't we," Saul mumbled as the clock bonged, and jarred to a stop. Saul pushed the door open, and stepped out. It was dark, and Lori shivered in the sudden cold. She shivered, and Saul wrapped his coat around her, for he had worn it. There was a wind, and the sound of the sea ebbing and flowing. Lori shivered, but before she could close the door, Saul propped it open.

"I think it was activated when the door what shut…" he said.

"Where or when are we?" she gasped, unable to make out much. Slowly a disk rose over what appeared to be mountains, and she gasped, as it was the disc of the moon. Stars winked on, looking fresh and bright, thousands of them, far more than could be seen in a city. Overhead the stars were blocked, and Saul saw the silhouette of palm tree fronds eclipsing the star filled vault in places.

"Whoever and whenever, the air is so fresh and clear," Stan breathed in. The sound of rushing water met their ears, and they could hear the sounds of something rustling. As the sherbet bands of dawn rose, a bright radiance suddenly burst over the mountains, and stabbed into their eyes. Lori gasped as she shielded her eyes from it, and the dawn broke. Saul suddenly realized that green lush leaves blocked the view. All around them the air was sweet with flowers, and they realized they were near a river. The whole world around them had the freshness of a rainforest, and Lori couldn't help but feel as if the very ground and air was brand new.

"Oh my… it's like… a paradise," Lori gasped as she noticed insects buzzing about. 

"Look out!" Saul gasped as something crashed through the bush, and Lori was pushed out of the way. A huge tiger leapt towards them, growling. Lori gasped as Saul faced off, his eyes flaring purple.

"Hey, easy, I was jest playing!" the Tiger said with a laugh. "Why are you so scared… and WHAT are those weird skins you're wearing?"

"Uh… I um…" Lori gasped as she looked at the Tiger.

"He's innocent. He didn't want to hurt us," Saul realized, in shock.

"Why would I 'hurt' you?" asked the Tiger. "What did the Man name you?"

"Say what?" Saul asked.

"Hurry up. The Man is naming us. He called me a Tiger…"

"Man?" Lori asked.

"It is what he calls himself. Come this way," said the Tiger as he crouched down, and indicated they should climb on his back. As they climbed upon him, he carried them to the midst of a clearing. Lori gasped when she saw a handsome creature, sitting on a rock, his golden tanned skin clear and without blemish, his hair long about his shoulders as he extended a hand to a furry lion and lioness, and said, "Lion…"

"Who is that?" Saul breathed as Lori's eyes widened.

"The Man," said the Tiger. "That's what he named himself. Hurry up and he'll name you…"

Other animals were chatting to one another as they filed by the Man, who smiled and scratched the next creature to move up, under the chin. He said clearly, "Deer… buck and doe… male and female…" and the doe and buck moved back, dipping their heads in strange reverence.

"Go on, small ones," said the Tiger as he nudged Saul and Lori up to the human figure that towered over them. His eyes were kind and deep, and he seemed to look like many humans that Lori had seen, but he was stark naked, and not ashamed!

"What have we here… little ones," said the Man in a resonant voice, and a language that seemed a blend of many, but was one that they could both understand. Since when could men speak with animals, Saul wondered. "What shall I call you… let me think… how about… mouse…"

"Um that's right, we're mice," Lori said slowly, looking up at him.

"Excuse me… sir… Man," said Saul. "But WHERE are we?"

"You do not know,' the man laughed, but there was sadness in his eyes. "I call this place the Garden. And all about me is the world. I'm supposed to take care of you the creatures, and it as what he said… a Steward. That's what He said…."

"Who?" Saul asked.

"The one that made us all of course," the Man said. 

"Um do you mean the Master of the Universe?" Saul asked, not believing his ears.

"Yes," said the Man.

"The Unnamed one… because if you speak his name, you may know death itself?" Saul queried.

"You know him then, and you make sport," the Man smiled. "That is what I shall call this. A joke…"

"Yes," smiled Saul, shaking his head. "You always need a joke or two…"

He glanced around, and saw the others. "Now, I must find names for the others… I shall see you later. Don't be afraid… and we will speak more of this thing you call humor…"

"Huh," mumbled Saul as the Man rose from his rock and walked around the circle of assembled creatures, laying his hand upon each and giving a name. Lori shook her head, dumfounded. "That's the weirdest thing… this CAN'T be…"

"I think I know WHERE we are," said Lori as she saw the Man move out of view.

"Is he the only one?" asked Saul slowly. "Or is there a woman too?"

"There should be another… soon," said Lori. They sat down and glanced anxiously about, and Lori was hoping to see what would happen next. The Man finally felt sadness claim him as he lay down and murmured to himself.

"All these creatures, and none to be my companion," he whispered before his eyelids drooped. He soon fell fast asleep, and Saul and Lori tensed.

"Maybe we should get back to the clock…" Saul whispered, before Lori stopped him.

"Wait, I want to see this," said Lori. They waited for a long time as the Man slept, turning over in a bed of leaves. The other animals moved away, but the Tiger watched, near a wolf, and a lamb, and a lion nearby, wondering why the two mice were so confused. 

Slowly the side of the man opened up, and they saw something being pulled out, white and long, but there was no blood. It lay next to the Man, and Saul gasped as he saw it grow in size. Before their eyes they say another figure lying next to him, fast asleep, with long hair falling over hips and back. It was another person, breathing in time with the Man.

"It's not good for you to be alone," said a soft whisper in the wind. "So, from your flesh I make you a helpmate…"

"Oh man," Saul mumbled, not believing as the Man opened his eyes and blinked, to see the lovely face smiling at him. He reached out to touch her face.

"This is Woman," said the soft whisper, still and silent. "I present her to you, she is of your flesh, and you and she shall be helpmates… like a father presents his daughter to her bridegroom, and when they are married they become one flesh, one body, so you have her at your side, to help you in the work I have given you to do."

"Woman," the Man smiled. "At last, someone to be my companion."

"Woman," the woman smiled as she sat up, and traced the face of the Man. Both were completely skyclad, and looking longingly at one another with the innocence of a child.

"Be fruitful, and multiply… and take CARE of my garden, and all the creatures in it," said the voice. "But there is just ONE rule. You can eat ANYTHING here, use any resource. But you should NOT touch the fruit of two trees…"

"What trees may I ask?" the Man looked at the air around him as if it were perfectly natural to do so.

"The tree of Life, and the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil. If you touch the trees, or eat the fruit, you will die. This commandment alone I give…" said the voice. 

Woman smiled at Man, and slowly he helped her up, to show her their New World. Forgotten, Saul and Lori just looked at one another in disbelief.

"I know WHEN we are," Lori said slowly. 

"Um, am I dreaming or have I lost my mind?" Saul asked slowly. "Is this really Eden? What next, a serpent and the fruit?"

"We should be going… because I'm sort of sad to see what will next happen," Lori said sadly as she glanced at the Eden around them. How long would it last?

Saul led her back to the time machine, and they slowly opened the door. Lori pulled him in, and they looked at one another. "So… when are we? And can I believe it?" Saul asked, suspecting the truth of their time and place.

"I believe, give or take 4 years owing to not knowing the exact time of birth of Jesus, that we're back nearly six thousand years…"

"I can't believe this," Saul shook his head.

"Give me a leg up," she said as he did so, and Saul boosted her up to where the toggle switch was moved all the way to Alpha. She slowly nudged the lever to the mark, two thirds of the way, to the year she hoped would be their century, but then realized that she had miscalculated when it got stuck at the halfway mark.

"Drat, I can't… budge it… it's stuck!"

"We're leaving!" Saul shouted as the door closed, and the clock vanished. Lori struggled to shift the lever but lost her balance, and Saul just managed to catch her as she landed in his arms.

"Whew, I can't… drat that lever…"

"What time did you set it to…"

"With my luck we'll end up at the year zero," she mumbled.

"Hmm, by the Christian calendar?" Saul asked. "Maybe if we thought in terms of another calendar," he said, leaning up to look at the dial. It was stuck halfway, and he realized he saw the mark where it had been before.

"If it's four thousand 4 BC… and our year is 5764… and maybe if I moved it… darn, it IS stuck…"

"Told you," Lori said. "We need to fix it somehow…"

"I hope wherever we are, we can find some tools," Saul mumbled as the clock pendulum started, and they were on their way again. He sat down by Lori, who looked up gloomily, annoyed at herself for failing to move a clock part, which was stubborn.

"What was this about 5764?" Lori asked. "Jewish calendar?"

"Yep," Saul said. "Using this as zero, and if you moved that lever halfway, you'd get the year 2882."

"Unfortunately that doesn't help me much," mumbled Lori. "What happened during THAT year?"

"I have to think back to Hebrew school," Saul blushed. "Man was created on the first of Tishrei, which is signified by Rosh Hashonah, and if we ARE at the first of Tishrei in the first year, then… we can use THAT as a time scale, because your Gregorian calendar was messed up…"

"I guess," said Lori with a smile.

"Who would have thought what I learned actually was helpful," Saul blushed. "I thought it was all based in myth…"

"You never can tell," Lori smiled as the clock moved again, and they moved through the ages. She hoped that DM wasn't having this much trouble with Professor Crumhorn!

"What were you sad about?" asked Saul gently as Lori wiped a tear from her eyes. Only the clock ticking broke the uneasy silence. "Eve eating that fruit?"

"Original sin," said Lori softly. "Only hours or minutes away… and the paradise is gone… and mankind falls…"

"Heh, we STILL have a choice. What we make of it is OUR business," Saul snorted.

"True, but that's where Jesus comes in. He died to take away the sin in the Garden. The sin that Man and Woman created…"

"I still don't get that, but I do know about the whole idea of the sins of the forefathers coming unto the seventh generation," Saul shook his head. "Something about that."

"You do understand," Lori brightened up.

"Well, if we ARE going to end up in 2828, I think you can figure out WHEN that is… some time during the Roman Empire…"

"And a very important birthday," Lori gasped.

***


	4. Dm and penfold go to Rome

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Part 4

By Trynia Merin

***

DM and Penfold waited anxiously as Prof. Squarkencluck fired up the time machine he had accidentally sent Penfold and DM into the past with. Little did he know that he'd actually sent them back to a time that was in an 'alternate universe' where a thing called evolution had taken place…

"It's very strange," said Squarkencluck as DM got out of his car. "I wonder vhere that time machine spun Lori und Herr Stann off too…"

"As much as I hate to say it, Crumhorn's the bigger priority," Colonel K harrumphed.

"But…" DM sighed.

"That's an order. I'm sure you'll be able to bring them back once you polish off Crumhorn," the Colonel said.

"Lori IS a top agent," Bagel said to DM, patting his hand. Sighing, he looked at the Mark III.

"Halten Zie," said Squarkencluck. "Vhee must fix you up mit the proper clothes for Augustus Caesar, ja? Here is und toga, und ein robe fur each of you… und a chariot…"

"Do we REALLY have to be Romans?" DM sighed.

"Ja, you musst," said Squarkencluck. "Und beware of the Animal emperor, Flavious Canines the first… he vas Augustus' own wolf hound…"

"Right," said DM as he wrapped the toga around himself and Bagel and Penfold moved off to changing rooms to put on their disguises. "Are you sure you know WHEN and where Crumhorn went? I did put a time bug on him…"

"Gut, he ist in the Middle East of all places… heading towards Greece through Palestine. You must stop him before he does more damage… even though Heron of Alexandria was several hundred years later, I guess he will invent the steam engine before Heron does, and thus claim credit for it. Und he will also try to get into Flavious Canines' good favors…"

"We'll stop him," DM said as he climbed into the chariot, while Penfold and Bagel ran out. Penfold was dressed as a Welsh/Gaulish slave, in a simple tunic and sandals, while Bagel was dressed as an Israelite maiden with traditional dress, and veil. They climbed into the chariot, drawn by a miniature horse, and waited as Squarkencluck pinned something to DM's toga, a large silver broach pin.

"Mine Babel pin. It will unscramble the language of the time into speech you can understand, ja? Und one for du, and one for du…" he said handing pins to Bagel and Penfold. "Remember you have only seventy two hours before the auto return finds you. You must put this collar on Crumhorn, and press the red button to sent him right back her before you… gut luck! Viele Gluck!"

"Be careful DM," the Colonel coughed as DM saluted, and the ray was aimed at him. Chariot and riders vanished into the mists of time.

***

Seconds later they were along the side of a roman road, where a vast amount of animals and humans moved. Mice and other creatures moved on a miniature roman road, guarded by wolves and crows in Roman legionary armor. They urged the masses of people along, and DM looked up to see that the sun was fast setting.

"Move along, you all must reach your home villages to be taxed, as the edict of Quirinius, and Augustus Caesar…," said the roman soldiers to the humans. The roman centurion crow, Corvus Arigonis waved the line of Israelite hamsters, lizards, and mice along, who were getting tired of walking and pulling their loads along with their miniature donkeys and horses, a small and cute version of the humans beasts of burden.

"Ave," DM cleared his throat as he pulled the chariot up and stopped it at the side of the road. Corvus Arigonus held up his hand in the same salute.

"Ave. Are you headed anywhere in particular, fellow citizen? What be your name and destination?"

"Yes," DM nodded, realizing how much the crow looked like Stiletto. Perhaps an ancestor. "I'm… er, Senator Danielus Marcus… and I'm going to Alexandria, in the south… by way of Jerusalem…"

"Aye, that's at least two weeks from here, and you are north of Jerusalem… at least two or three day's journey…And there are your slaves?"

"Now wait a minute," Bagel gasped before Penfold shushed her.

"Aye that'd be us, slaves, right Chief?" Penfold piped up.

"Penfold, shush," DM whispered.

"Mind you watch out. The roads are filled with travelers trying to register to be taxed. And there won't be much room in the inns. I wouldn't try that little village called Bethlehem. But I could put in a good word for you…"

"Bethlehem?" Penfold wondered as the sun was fast setting.

"Have you seen a rather large wolf in a centurion's helmet?" DM asked. "Named Centurion Crumhornus?"

"Well good citizen… I DID see Centurion Crumhornus earlier today. He was headed for Egypt… but it's late, and I suggest you find shelter. It's winter you know… and bandits and thieves can stop good citizens like yourself…"

"We'll be all right," DM gritted his face into a smile as he realized Crumhorn had indeed ingratiated himself with the Romans already.

"Shall we escort you…"

"That won't be necessary," DM said as he hoped to get moving. He sighed with relief as the soldiers waved him on, and he headed as nonchalantly as he could. More and more people joined the vast group of travelers, heading up the hill to the small town. Already the large courtyards were being filled, for the inns of that time not only had places for people to stay inside, but courtyards where the poorer ones could pay to spread their blankets and camp in the walls, even if it was in open air.

"We'll never find anything at this rate," mumbled a donkey that was nearby as Bagel and Penfold looked around. They wandered through the streets, glancing for any sign of Crumhorn. Under cover of the crowd they moved, till the people began to find places to stay. Throughout the streets of the small village of Bethlehem they drove, till the sun had slid down, and the wind had picked up.

"Cor, look at that, here's that same donkey… coo-ee, what are you doing out here?"

"I can't BELIEVE it…" the donkey muttered as he glanced down at the small mouse in the chariot, as he sighed under the weight of a young woman wrapped tightly in her cloak. Light from the nearby inn entrance was eclipsed as they heard someone arguing from inside.

"What's going on?" DM asked the donkey.

"We've been to FIVE inns, and no room!" the donkey groaned. "And my mistress is with child! She's going to be dropping a colt any moment, and my master can't find a place…"

"Oh dear," DM sighed, and glanced up at the woman who was waiting patiently as she rubbed the donkey's ears.

"My mistress deserves a place far more then these idiots," the donkey grumbled. "By the way, you don't know anyplace do you?"

"Have you tried any relatives your master might have?" asked Bagel. 

"Well, that's it. My master has only an old uncle, and he's not in good health. He's expecting us later, but he's but a poor shepherd…"

"Well, that's another dead end," sighed a man as he exited leaning on his staff, and he moved up beside the young woman.

"The poor dear," Bagel sighed as she saw how young the girl was. Only fifteen or sixteen at most, and the man was perhaps in his middle thirties, with graying hair. But he was very kind and attentive as he rubbed her shoulders and moved close.

"Do not worry, we will find a place," the girl sighed and groaned, feeling the contractions of labor.

"Good grief, what barbarians would turn away a pregnant woman?" DM snorted. "There must be SOMEWHERE she can be…"

"I know, really!" the donkey snorted.

"Cor, this seems familiar," Penfold mumbled.

"No room at the inn," DM mumbled. "Well, how about this way…"

The donkey glanced at DM, and then nodded in the direction the mouse driving the chariot was indicating. Already the night was fast becoming cold, and the mistress groaned with the pangs of labor as her husband held her hand and suddenly realized the donkey was pulling him along with the guide rope.

"We tried that already," Joseph sighed.

"No, I think he's trying to tell us something," the young woman whispered. "Go on, Josephus… what do you hear?"

"This way… follow me!" DM shouted to the donkey, which followed the roman mouse in his chariot towards a small flickering light. Out towards the ends of town they road, towards a set of caves in the side of the hills. Here people kept their animals, and the donkey realized it was a stable.

"Oh this will never do," sighed Bagel. "It's a stable!"

"It's warm, and what's WRONG with a stable?" the donkey snorted.

"But a baby," Bagel sighed.

"Look husband it's warm…"

"I can't let you have our son here," the man sighed.

"Please, I can't keep this up… the baby is coming…" she gasped as she held her belly, and the husband sighed. He slowly led the donkey in, and DM pulled fast the door as he leapt from his chariot. Not thinking how the door opened, the man led his wife inside, and found clean straw. The donkey brayed at the ox and the others to move aside, and lay out clean straw as the man spread out blankets and cloaks for his wife to sit on. DM shoved the door shut, and sighed as he saw the woman wipe away tears and her husband stayed nearby, anxious.

"Soon," she gasped as he wiped off her forehead. 

"Maybe we can find some help," said Bagel as she pulled Penfold and DM away to the chariout outside. DM started to protest but Bagel was insistent. They left the stable, quickly going out to see in the night if there was anyone they could find to help. 

***

By the time they returned to climb up to the window they heard the cry of a baby broke through the warm stable, and Joseph held the small miracle in his arms.

"Carrots, what a whopping great STAR!" Penfold pointed at the sky. A large light had suddenly blazed into existence overhead, peeping through the hole in the cave roof where the smoke curled through.

"Good grief," DM gasped as he bowed his head.

"The child's name means God with Us," Mary said as she looked up at her husband who had helped her through the childbirth.

"That would be Emmanuel, or Jesus," said DM slowly.

"Ohh crumbs you mean…" Penfold gasped. The three of them peered into the stable window where a baby had been born. 

"You mean HE's the…" Bagel trailed off as the baby lay in the manger, and Mary looked up, tired but radiant as people came in to see what the fuss was about. Joseph sat watchfully to one side, as he watched the mother and child to whom his care was entrusted.

"Cor," Penfold shook his head as a few shepherds came in and gasped at the little baby.

"Come on you two, we must go!" DM whispered as he pulled them into the chariot and they roared off into the night, leaving the stable and the filing group that came to see the strange new baby that had arrived. A strange silence and hope filled the very air as they headed off, and DM glanced up at the mighty star gleaming brightly overhead, far brighter then the moon.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, and hoped he'd be fortunate enough to find Crumhorn.

***

"Now, you were going to present your invention, Marvelious," he said, turning to the lead inventor. He nodded and whistled for them to bring in the small catapult, with improved design. Augustus Caesar had called a meeting of the top inventors to show their wares for his troops, who were planning a campaign into Germania to teach the Goths a lesson. Often they were accosted by the might of the Goths who would push back Roman Occupation, unlike the Gauls who had been beaten into submission by Julius a few years before. 

Caius Marvelious strode in, his centurion's helmet glistening gold as he held it under one arm. He saluted, "Ave Caeser…"

"You said you have a new sort of catapult to show me?" August asked, flicking water off his fingers as he wiped the grease off from the chicken he had been eating. A bowl of fruit and several other roasted fowl were at his elbow, and he was reclining with several members of his family, including his sister at their afternoon meal.

"From your inventors in Alexandria, this is what we call a trebuchet," he said. The strange lever held a basket of stones, and was counterbalanced with iron rings on its base. The basket was held down with a rope, and the slaves hauled it into position just before the window of the atrium.

"Behold, I have set up a target about 100 stadia distant… I fill the counterbalance basket with more iron, and turn the trebuchet this way… then all we need do is cut the rope, and a stone can be hurled ten times further then the catapult… and for comparison, a scale model catapult…"

"Indeed," said Caesar. 

"Present… load… present, fire!" shouted Caius. As he lowered his hand, both the trebuchet and the catapult models fired their projectiles out the window. Augustus watched as each mechanism let its stone missile sail out his window and arc gracefully over his estate. He spotted the two model huts built of waddle and daub, and thatch. The catapult missile landed just short of its target, while the trebuchet whistled narrowly overhead.

"Impressive," he said. "How many of these can you have made?"

"Several dozen."

"Then make it so," said Caesar. "In the meantime do join my family for some light refreshment… and send word to your men to begin development."

"Ave, it shall be done," Centurion Marvelious nodded, raising his hand in salute.

"What's next?" Augustus asked as he snapped his fingers. His slave walked in with a scroll of parchment and unrolled it.

"Centurion Cassias Crumnhornous sir… he is presenting a work of extreme importance. It is said he is trying to build the first horseless chariot."

"A horseless chariot?" Marvelious laughed as he handed his helmet to a nearby legionary. He sat down on the nearest chaise lounge and reclined near Augustus. 

An odd man shuffled in, wearing a rather scraggly beard. He shouted at the slaves to push in the cart that bore a bowl of water, and a sphere set into a shimmering bronze frame. A stone lamp was set underneath, and was not yet lit.

"Ave Caesar! I have brought you something that will make you without doubt the master o the world!"

A sphere with a jet on either side sat in a bowl of water. Unimpressed, Caesar Augustus shook his head and mumbled. He had seen many odd things produced by the Greeks, including the temple oracles that had a small bird that sang or did not sing depending on the prayer. The odometer for marking the roman roads was well known. But this strange novelty was singularly unimpressive.

"Oh master let me further demonstrate," said the creator, who called himself Cassius Crumhornous. "If I adjust the adjustment adjuster on the heat, voila… vexations of various volume will cause a credible change in conditions…"

"Get on with it," said Caesar. In reality the small and sickly man had become emperor through a technicality, and had only recently regained full health. Why this stranger should suddenly interest him was beyond him, but the others did say he had fixed a chariot without needing spare wheels. 

The other senators, wise men and astrologers looked on as the water boiled. Slowly the sphere began to spin small jets of steam spurting out of the top and the bottom nozzle. As the heat increased, it began to crank faster and faster. Augustus Caesar turned to one of his top thinkers, Gaius Cephalus, who nodded.

"I told you he was impressive," said Gaius.

"Indeed… but WHAT is it for?" Caesar asked.

"Imagine chariots that do not need horses," Crumhornous said with a grin. "This… I give you the steam engine. With it Rome will be invincible…"

"We already are," Augustus said slowly. "Do you doubt that this empire would last a thousand years?"

"But surely your Majesty sees the value in continuing to build war machines to expand your empire," said Crumhornus. The sphere spun ever faster, sending a cloud of steam filling the room of the Emperor's summer home. It spread about the room, bathing them in its strange mist.

"I must admit this is an interesting toy, but you must prove to me what good it is," said Augustus.

"If you will excuse me, there is something I must attend to. I have already taken the liberty of having this principle installed in a chariot. I will be able to present it sometime tomorrow, but I wanted you to behold the raw power of my invention!"

"Very well," said Caesar. "But do take your toy away. It's making the inside of my room all humid, and I don't want it to damage the carpets for this night's orgy…"

"Ave, Caesar," he nodded.

"Will you be joining us for food?" asked Marvelious with a sneer of jealousy. Where had this upstart come from? All of a sudden he had appeared out of nowhere and had fixed a chariot with nothing more than a small compact capsule he had thrown on the ground, and produced a full sized wheel, covered with a gummy substance called rubber instead of a proper rimmed wheel. How preposterous!

"A bit of water is all I'll need," Crumhornous nodded as he reclined near the Emperor and the others assembled there. He reached in a pouch at his belt and pulled out a small brightly colored pill. Swallowing it quick, he washed it down with a goblet of water. For a second, Marvelious thought he had seen the man take on the appearance of a wolf. The rumors said that sometimes they had heard the howl of a wolf in the middle of the nights at the camp, and wondered what it was. While the wolf was the symbol of roman might, some men didn't care to think of one slinking about the campsite.

Crumhorn patted his pouch. It was well he had a supply of the capsules that allowed him to take on human appearance. They had worked well enough against DM to turn into a little girl, and they had worked well enough for him to take on the temporary appearance of a human being. Unfortunately he only had enough for a precious few short weeks, and was already slaving night and day to find enough herbs to create the old roman equivalent. Fortunately he had the services of a druid from Britannia helping to provide him with some, and hoped the druid could come up with the potion soon when his pills ran out.

"Sire, this man is a fraud," Marvelious whispered. "What need have you for this toy? Horseless chariots? Why bother?"

"He may be a fraud but I am intrigued," said Augustus. "We will wait till tomorrow. And if he is a fraud we can feed him to the lions in the Circus Maximus…"


	5. another sidetrack

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Part 5

By Trynia Merin

***

Danger Mouse pulled his chariot up outside the summer home of Augustus. At last they had made it to Rome, after a harrowing journey by sea and by chariot. It had been tough, but they had made it. In a week they had traversed land and sea, on Crumhorn's trail. Local rumors said he was here, and DM was determined to get him before he did any more damage.

"Cor DM, we haven't half spent most of our time here," Penfold mumbled as they ditched the miniature chariot and tried to slink past the roman legionaries.

"What now?" Bagel asked, finally getting used to the sandals.

"From what I heard along the road, he's here now…" DM said. "Let's try to find a way in…"

"DM, I see some crows flying about with helmets…"

"We must be fast," DM said as he picked up Bagel and Penfold, under either arm. He inhaled deeply and raced quickly through the gate bars, as the legionaries glanced around. One of the crows flying over head spotted them, and quickly dove toward them.

"Intruders!" it crowed loudly. "Ware!"

"Ohh DM!" shouted Penfold. With just an inch to spare they scuttled into a stone wall as the crows dive-bombed. Skidding across the stones, the two legionary crows moaned, seeing stars.

"Good grief," he mumbled. "They looked like Stiletto and his other henchcrows…"

The two crows grumbled at one another, shaking their heads. Just then another crow, a centurion landed and glanced around as it croaked, "What are you two imbeciles doing?"

"Ave Centurion Spikus, we just saw three intruders… a while mouse and two hamsters…"

"Is that so? My cousin said he encountered three travelers on the road… and he was suspicious of them… for the mouse said he was Danielus, but he checked the census records and there was no such mouse registered in the Empire. I've been on his trail for weeks!"

"He's just gone in there Sir!"

"2well don't just stand there gawking, get after them!" he shouted as he swatted them both.

"Oh lummie!" Penfold gasped as DM set him and Bagel down, and shoed them down a long tunnel. They heard the scuttling of the crow centurion and the legionaries as they tried to squeeze in the wall after their quarry.

"Our cover is blown!" Bagel gasped.

"Hurry, don't hang about!" DM hissed through the darkness. He grabbed a small stick, a match from his bag and struck it as a makeshift torch.

"What now DM?" Penfold shivered as he hid behind DM and squeezed Bagel's hand tightly.

"Keep close and shush, you two," DM mumbled. The sounds of the three crows weren't far off, and they heard various mutterings and scrapes.

"You idiots! Take off your armor, and then you'll fit!"

"But sir…"

"No buts. You two have GOT to stop having private orgies in the guardroom!" he mumbled. "If you want something done right, do it yourself!"

"This way," DM mumbled as he saw a crack of light ahead, and heard human voices. He poked his nose out of the crack in the wall and stared into a stately room where several humans in robes reclined on sofas, and stuffed their faces with all manner of food. Something made him widen his single eye as he saw the strange gleaming sphere in its brass frame. 

"What do you see?" Bagel asked.

"Paydirt," DM mumbled. "We've gotten to Caesar Augustus, and I see something here in this big room that doesn't belong in this century. Follow me and tread lightly…"

"Right," Bagel said, holding Penfold's hand as he felt his knees knocking.

"Oh crikey, oh crumbs what if we're caught?" Penfold whimpered as they crept along and rushed under the couches among the sandaled feet of the humans. The one with the laurel wreath was whispering back to the centurion, and DM glanced around for any sign of Crumhorn. He motioned for Penfold and Bagel to wait in the shadow of a large brass fruit stand in the midst of the dining royal family, and quickly darted into the open, hoping he wouldn't be noticed. However the rather large cat curled at Augustus feet noticed them, and pricked his ears up. He blinked and nudged the royal dog.

"Psst, Canus Majoris! Stop stuffing yourself. We have visitors…"

"Oh leave me alone Felinus, you freeloader," he whined and started gnawing on the bone.

"Dogs," Felinus Cattus mumbled as he stood up, and stretched. He saw the white mouse in roman robes scuttling across the floor, and smiled. Time to earn his keep. He had been brought from Egypt, by Julius Caesar, and his mother Cleo and his father Ptolemy had told him that he had a sacred duty to rid his master's house of vermin. He aimed to please, while the fool Canus insisted that dogs were far better servants to man then cats would ever be.

DM didn't notice as he approached the cart where Crumhorn's invention was, that the smoky gray tomcat was stalking him. Felinus crept closer, keeping his body tot he ground, and watching DM with yellow eyes. His hindquarters swayed back and forth as he prepared to pounce.

"Oh no, look at that cat!" Penfold squealed as his eyes noticed the cat slowly creeping toward their chief.

"We have to warn him!" Bagel gasped. She pulled Penfold after her and rushed to where the dog was curled at Augustus' feet. His nose picked up a smell of something different, and his ears perked up as the wolflike dog suddenly heard the pattering of feet and the squeaking of rodents.

"Hmm maybe that cat isn't so useless after all," he muttered as he turned his head to listen to the sound. Bagel and Penfold darted out to where the cat Felinus was closing in on DM, ready to pounce. Before they could say anything to warn him, a large paw landed before them, and a voice barked.

"Hey, intruders! Stay RIGHT there! You're not invited in my master's home!"

"Oh crumbs!" Penfold groaned. The barking dog alerted the humans and they glanced around in confusion.

"EEK mice!" screamed Olivia, Augustus' sister as she leapt on her sofa and shivered.

"Get RID of them!" Augusuts shouted at his dog and his cat. DM turned his face and saw the large tom pounce on him before he could dodge. He leapt out of the way, the cat bounding after him. Hearing the dog bark, the human form of Crumhorn leapt off his sofa and rushed over to where DM was scuttling to get away from the cat.

"By Jupiter what is going on?" shouted Caesar as he saw his dog pinning two hamsters under either paw and barking his head off.

"Silence that dog!" whined another of the guests who was holding his ears.

"Ah…" Crumhorn laughed as he grabbed his empty goblet and saw Danger Mouse racing away from the cat. Before DM could think, something slammed over him, trapping him.

"By mercury, outwitted by a human," Felinus mumbled as Crumhorn cackled and slid a sheet of parchment under the goblet and held it up.

"Really, wasting your time on mice?" asked Marvelious in amusement.

"I can't let these filthy creatures invest your palace," said Crumhorn. He walked over and opened the door of a small brass cage that had contained a bird at one time before Felinus had gotten to it as a late night snack. He popped DM inside, and closed the door. Striding over to Canus who was imprisoning Penfold and Bagel, he nudged the dog aside and picked up both hamsters that shivered. Bagel tried to bite his hand and he dropped her, yelping in pain as she dodged into the bowl of fruit. Felinus yowled and jumped, knocking over a pitcher of wine.

"Shoo, you horrid cat!" shouted one of the other guests. Felinus mumbled and bounded off then turned to lick himself. Crumhorn popped Penfold into the cage and grinned evilly.

"Two new experimental subjects. I'll take these pests away, oh Caesar."

"Olivia, do come down. The pests are gone," Caesar laughed, as one of the slaves helped his sister down. Bagel hid in the fruit bowl, hearing the dog barking loudly. She hoped nobody would find her. Felinus settled down after bathing himself and grinned. He could wait all day to catch that fat, juicy hamster. Outwitted by a human, indeed. He would take care of that mouse and his little friend soon as everyone went to bed!

"Oh crumbs!" cried Penfold as Crumhorn lifted the cage and set it on his cart.

"Take this to my chariot. I will take my leave of you, oh magnificent one…"

"Do try to contain yourself next time," said Caesar. "My guests have very delicate stomachs."

"Ave," he said as he pushed his cart out, and Marvelious sneered.

"All he's good for is royal mousecatcher," the centurion joked.

"That will do," Caesar waved his hand. "It's time for me to leave for the senate. Carry on…"

"Ave," said his friends and family as the emperor rose and his slaves rushed to attend to him. As Crumhorn wheeled the cage with DM and Penfold out, DM shook his head. There was something about this human that made him uneasy. Something familiar.

"Well Danger Mouse, you're going to pay dearly for trying to meddle in my plans," the human cackled.

"You…" he gasped.

"Oh yes, you fool. It is I. And you can't stop me in your present state," he said with a leer as he put the cage into the back of his chariot with the wagon. DM gasped when he saw the chariot had no horses and was in fact hooked up to a trailer with rubber wheels.

"You... how did you?"

"You're human!" gasped Penfold. "That's impossible!"

"Not for him. Remember those pills he had… he must have used one to become human," DM gasped. "Good grief we have GOT to stop him."

"You can't now. And soon you'll see my greatest invention…" Crumhorn laughed as he stood up in his chariot and started what sounded like a steam engine. The horseless chariot sputtered and rolled off out o the palace courtyard.

"Good grief, he's already using the steam engine!" gasped DM. "We're too late!"

"Poor bagel!" cried Penfold. "She's all alone!"

"Good grief, we have got to escape and get back to her," said DM as he started to work at the lock of the cage.

***


	6. transformations

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

By Trynia Merin

Part 6

Bagel was miserable as she hid in the fruit bowl. She could hear Felonus and Canus arguing a few feet from their master's chair, and she was not sure of what to do. Maybe, just maybe she could use these two against Crumhorn.

"Hey you!" she called out, trying to make her voice. "Hey, you two!"

"Who is it?" asked Felonus. "If you're that mouse, you know that we're out here!"

"Canus, do you want somebody to harm your master?"

"What do you know, creature?" asked Canus.

"Crumhornus, the new inventor! He's really an evil magician, who wants to destroy Caesar. My friends and I are good Roman citizens and we only want to help save the Emperor!"

"You lie," Felonus snarled.

"Even if what you say is TRUE, how can a MOUSE know?" asked Canus.

"Because I know a secret, and I'm NOT a mouse, I'm a hamster."

"Same thing," Felonus snorted.

"I AM a hamster. I'm from… Palestine. I'm a… servant of the house of David. Crumhornus captured my master Danielus, who is really a roman sympathizer from Britannia. He used that name to track Crumhornus down. Because Crumhornus is an animal like us. He's deceiving the Emperor with a magic potion that makes him appear like a Man but he is NOT a man. Surely your nose must tell you he smells like a wolf. He's a wolf in human clothes!"

"Are you going to listen to this?" Felonus meowed.

"You, tell me what you know and now!" Canus barked. "If you are lying…"

"I swear by Jupiter I am telling the truth. May he strike me by a thunderbolt if I lie," said Bagel, hoping he'd buy it. "And I promise by my own god Elohim that I am on the side of right doings. I am here to help you. Because if Crumhornus gets his way, he will destroy everything as you know it!"

"So be it."

"Keep that cat away from me and Ill come out and talk to you…"

"All right. But if you're lying, you are Felonus' dinner, Hamster…" said Canus. "I swear by Mercury that I will not harm you."

"All right, I'm coming out," said Bagel as she slipped out and glanced up at Canus, who moved between her and Felonus.

"You wear clothes. You are an intelligent beast as we are?" asked Canus.

"Yes," she said.

"How can you be sure?" Felonus asked.

"She has the LOOK in her eyes, of wisdom. She is not like the ordinary beasts," said Canus. "So, you KNOW. And you say Crumhornus is a fake and an evil wizard?"

"If you let Crumhornus make his horseless chariots, then he will use that power to become Caesar himself and slay Augustus. He comes from a land FAR away where magic is far more then your GODS could comprehend. He wants to RULE the world. He would stop at NOTHING to become Caesar himself."

"So, he's a traitor," said Felonus. "How can you be SURE, hamster…"

"Because, can you risk losing your home if your master is in danger?" asked Bagel.

"She speaks truth," said Canus. "So what are we to do?"

"Find Crumhornus and help me free my master Danielus Magnus," said Bagel. "Please. If you value Caesar's life and Rome's future, you must help me…"

"Very well. Felonus, you stay here. I will go…"

"I will go also," Felonus growled. "To make sure you aren't lying, rodent."

"All right," said Canus. "WE wait till our master goes into his Triclinium. And then we go find Crumhornus."

"You can't trust her!" cried one of the crows as he burst from the wall. "She is a spy…"

"Shut up, Spyke," snapped Canus. "This is NOT your affair. You had best keep an eye on Crumhornus and make sure our master is safe… this hamster says that Caesar's life is in danger by an evil sorcerer who can be as a man or animal."

"But…"

"Silence, or I'll make a pie of you," Canus growled as he stood before Bagel. "Now, little one, climb on my back. I shall take you to my kennel where you shall be safe. As for you Felinus, if you insist on sharing the danger, we will meet when Luna rises tonight…"

"Very well, Canus," said Felonus as he bounded away and curled under Augustus' chair. The others were getting up to leave and go tot he baths in Caesar's estate. Soon the others were leaving as the sun began to set. Bagel climbed on Canus' broad back and hung onto his spiked collar as he bounded through the halls toward his kennel to wait. She thanked God that he would listen to reason. She only hoped Lori and Stan were all right.

***

In the time clock, Lori and Saul waited as the door swung open, and they gazed out onto a desert that was swept through with wind. They had landed in a barren place, and they were amazed at the brassy sun, which hung overhead. They were near a cave and several ravens were circling overhead.

"Where are we?" Lori asked as Saul opened the door and they strode out. He propped the door to the clock open. They heard a man whispering in a language that Lori didn't get, but Saul did.

"Wait, that's Hebrew," Saul said as he walked toward the cave. "It's a human, saying a prayer…"

"But the ravens…" Lori said.

"No look, he's not in danger," said Saul as he pointed to the ravens that landed. They carried bits of bread and meat in their mouths, and looked oddly at the two mice.

"Hey!" one of them shouted as he put the bread down. "We're here! Food!"

The man emerged from the cave, his eyes bright but his robe was striped and long like that of a Hebrew. His beard was streaked with some white, and his hair was long. He carried a staff in his hand, and he looked kindly at the two ravens.

"What have you brought me now?" he asked, looking as if he had not slept in days. There was sadness about him, as if he had seen much death and misery.

"Shalom," said Saul clearly. The man blinked as he picked up the bread and meat from the ravens, which then flew away. He saw two mice standing there, one with black and white fur, and the other with pure white fur.

"Shalom," he said, glancing down at Saul. "It isn't often I see creatures that speak the tongues of man. Have you been sent to me also?"

"No sir, we're lost as you appear to be," Lori mumbled.

"How unfortunate," the man sighed. "I am here because there is no other place for me to go. People want to kill me because of what I believe. I hope that you are not here to laugh at the only prophet of Elohim."

"No," Saul said. "Your God is my god."

"Praise be," the man sighed in relief. "If animals believe in Him, then I feel a bit of shame. I've been alone and praying for so long…"

"Have you," Saul smiled. "Well let me say sir, that I am HONORED to meet you."

"You've heard of me?"

"You are known in many lands," said Saul. "And don't worry. I'm sure Elohim has a plan for you."

"I know. It's difficult to believe, but if animals such as you can speak truth, then there is hope for men? Elohim has told me that there are still those who believe. And I am about to go. But you say you are lost?"

"We… are travelers," Saul said sadly. "I think it might be hard for you to believe, but we are from the future and we are lost in time. We have hardly a way to get back home… and we want to stop a madman from destroying history…"

"Hmm," said the man, who appeared to be a profit. "And that… box is how you came to travel through the ages?"

"You believe us?" Lori asked.

"When you are the prophet of Elohim, many things are possible," he shrugged. He picked up his staff and turned to look at a small village. "I was told to go there. Perhaps if you pray you will be answered as well. Sometimes it's that simple."

"Pray?" Lori asked slowly.

"Pray. Sometimes it's a still small voice. And you have to be quiet enough to hear it. I heard you didn't I? Perhaps Elohim sent you here for a reason. Why I do not know…"

"You can't fix time machines can you?" asked Lori half sarcastically.

"Sir, we just aren't sure what to do," Saul sighed. "This thing brought us here and we have no idea how it works. It's a machine, and we were trapped in it..."

"How were you trapped?" he asked simply.

"By the evil scientist… the bad man who wanted to destroy history as we know it, for his own gains," Saul said.

"Hmm. Well how did it know where to come?" asked the prophet, like a teacher who was trying to guide his students to the answer that was obvious.

"We tried changing some of the machine parts. But we have no idea where it works, or what runs it…" Lori sighed. "I don't think he can help us Saul. They haven't invented clocks yet from the look o things…"

The prophet walked over to the box and looked at it. He glanced at the ticking and swinging of the pendulum and shook his head. "Perhaps it DOES know where it's going, but you didn't ask it well enough. How can it know the answer if it doesn't know the right question?"

"Huh?" Lori asked.

"Maybe it knows where to go. You just have to give it the right… motivation," the prophet said as he tapped the clock with the end of his staff. "Perhaps if you simply got in and let it take you where it will… then it will take you to where you need to be. Worked for me. I was always ending up places I didn't want to go at first, but in the end, there were where I needed to be… to test my faith. Maybe yours is being tested in the same way mine is. Who knows?"

"Thank you…" Saul said as if this helped.

"Sir, this makes no sense…" Lori sighed. 

"I have a place I must be," he sighed and shrugged. "Shalom, and Elohim be with you…"

"Shalom, Eliahou," said Saul as he bowed his head. The man nodded and walked slowly towards the village nearby. Leaving Lori to look at Saul oddly.

"Who was that?"

"Eliayahou," said Saul. "Come on, you don't know about him?"

"Wait you mean that was…"

"Yes," nodded Saul. "I think we should do what he says, don't you?"

"How could he know?"

"He's a prophet," said Saul as he led Lori back into the machine, and closed the door. 

"Eliyahoo… you mean Elijah?" asked Lori in wonder.

"Yes," Saul said as he got on his knees. "I'm going to pray. Nothing else has worked, and if we can do something like have a miracle like meeting Elijah, the single most important man besides Moses in my faith and history there is SOME guiding force behind our journey…"

"Saul, is it that simple?" Lori asked.

"Please," Saul said. "Elohim, we're asking you. Make this contraption, which you're FAR more powerful than, to take us back to the 20th century?"

"Please," Lori said. "God help us, we need help. If you're there, can you please send us home?"

"Listen, could you please take us to where we need to be?" Saul asked. "We have to stop Crumhorn from destroying the future."

Lori and Saul got down on their knees, and Lori felt tears in her eyes as she whispered, "I ask in the name of your Son, through whom ALL things are possible. Please take us home. God, can you please make this thing take us home?"

There was nothing but the ticking of the clock, and Lori heard her own heart beating, and felt tears stinging her eyes. She felt Saul's hand slip into hers, and they both looked at one another. There was no dramatic change, only the still silence but she felt a bit better. If that hope was possible, then maybe they could get back home after all.

***

"You want me to open the door this time?" Saul asked as he swung wide the door.

"All right," Lori nodded. They did so, and saw themselves in a strange enclosed space, that looked like the inner workings of a roman house. She could tell by the mosaics on the walls, and torches flickered against the tapestries hung here and there. They heard the cackling of a man nearby as he poked and taunted some poor animals in cages. 

"You poor fools. You have no idea. I was once a beast like you, but for my secret formula. And to be there, and able to understand my every word…" he laughed.

"I sense… him…" gasped Saul.

"What you mean…"

"Yes, it's him, we made it…"

"But this isn't the 20th century…"

"Shh," Saul whispered. "Listen…"

"You won't get away with this you fiend!" shouted a familiar voice. It was Danger Mouse! They heard Penfold, and as Lori moved, Saul caught her arm.

"No, let's find out what's going on…" Saul urged. Lori stayed put, and they propped the door of the clock open.

"Oh you poor fool. You can't stop me now, Danger Mouse. You'll watch as I seize the Ceasarship and storm sidereal centuries! All hail Crumhornus Caesar!"

"You'll never get away with it!" shouted DM.

"I already have," laughed the man who was Crumhorn. He unfastened the pouch from his hip and put it on the table. A few pills rolled out as he set DM and Penfold's cage on a high shelf, which was twenty human feet from the floor. There was only slick stone marble under the shelf, and nothing in the cage to make a ladder from. "And now I shall leave you to suffer silently…whilst I rectify reasons relating to my revolutionary research!"

"You'll be stopped!" shouted DM. "I promise you!"

As the human walked into the next room, Saul quickly moved out into view with Lori. "My mental senses tell me he's in the next room. So I'll be here monitoring…

"DM!" hissed Lori.

"Good grief!" DM gasped as he moved to the edge of the cage. He could see bits of lab tools, twine and other things lying about and the small vial of pills on the table. "Am I seeing things?"

"DM it's us! We got here!" gasped Lori. "But how are we going to get to you?"

"There's one way Lori. Crumhorn left his pills. You know the ones that change him into other forms?"

"Which ones?" Lori asked.

"Those on the table. If you can get to them… you might be able to take one and transform yourself into a human temporarily and then you can reach up and free us! And then one of you can fight Crumhorn and subdue him!"

"But will it harm her?" Saul asked.

"Crumhorn seems to be coping. It's only temporary…"

"But the pills are on that stool there…" said Lori. "Wait… Saul… can you fly?"

"No. I left my medallion at home," Saul said. "But if only we can…"

"If I can just… DM do you have any bits of cloth you can throw down?"

"Yes…" he said as he took his toga and tossed it down through the bars. Shredding it, Lori made a makeshift rope and lasso. 

"We did a rope trick in the circus… if I can just lasso something… and use it to climb up…" and here she swung the lasso around her head, and threw it upwards not towards the table, which was four feet high, but towards the roman chair nearby. It caught around the end of the ornamentation, and she pulled it taught. Then she hooked her foot in one end and began to swing back and forth, higher and higher, gaining more and more height with each swing. Saul watched as her tail telescoped out, and brushed at the vial sitting on the edge of the table. Each swing brought her closer till she swung up and sent her tail pulling out to wrap around the vial. It dragged her tail down and she let it fall to the floor, the glass shattering.

"Saul, quick!" Lori cried. "I hear Crumhorn!"

Saul raced forwards and grabbed the nearest pill, opening the capsule and swallowing some of the beads as Crumhornus raced in from the other room. "What is going on… you…."

He saw Lori swinging back and forth on the rope, and snarled as he closed his hand on her. She sank her teeth into his hand as he grabbed her and he howled in pain, dropping her. She broke her fall with her telescopic tail wrapping around the chair rung, and letting her swing up and roll tot he floor unharmed. Angrily Crumhorn raced after her, cursing and shouting.

"No recourse wretched rodent!" he shouted as DM and Penfold looked tensely on. On such a high shelf there was nothing they could do. 

"That's enough!" shouted a voice from behind as Crumhorn felt someone grab him and jerk him back. 

"Impossible!"

"You think?" asked a loud voice. A handsome man with dark curly hair, olive skin, and a muscular body grabbed Crumhornus and held him tightly. 

"You… who are you?"

"Oh, you'll not stick around long enough to find out!" shouted the human. "Lori, are you all right?"

"I am now," said someone as she stepped out from behind the shadows, wrapping a sheet around her body. She made a toga, and DM and Penfold gasped as they saw a woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes look at them, her skin pale and fair. A human woman who held a few ropes in her hands.

"Tie him up while I get DM and Penfold…"

"Cor… they're human!" gasped Penfold as Saul wrapped Crumhorn's toga around his body as a makeshift toga. He trussed the professor up with the ropes as Lori pushed the table by the shelf, and stacked the chair on top. After Saul finished tying up the human Crumhorn, she gestured to him to help her up. Standing on the chair with Saul steadying her she reached up and took the cage containing DM and Penfold inside and opened the door.

"Good work you two!" said DM. "Nicely done!"

"But what about him?" asked Saul, who was very handsome as a human man.

"We have to activate the homing beacon so Squarkencluck can send us back tot he future, and we have to destroy his workshop," said DM.

"But Bagel, where is she?" asked Lori.


	7. another plot foiled!

A ROMAN HOLIDAY

Conclusion

By Trynia Merin

"Drat, I forgot!" gasped DM. "She's at Caesar's palace!"

"We have to saver her, Saul!" Lori cried as she caught his arm.

"I know… you two activate the homing beacon and send Crumhorn back. Lori and I will look for Bagel…"

"But you have no idea where she is!" DM said. "She's at the palace of Cesar Augustus!"

"I can use my powers to find her," Saul said. "I might not have my medallion, but I can still hear thoughts."

"Then we have to destroy this lab," DM said as he glanced around. "Lori, what' [s that over there… gunpowder? I'd say it's flammable…"

"Yes," said Lori as she reached for the sulfur, charcoal and potassium nitrate.

"Put it down here. You two go rescue Bagel. And Lori, do you have your wrist phone on?"

"It got damaged when I increased in height," she said.

"Gather the rest of the pills," said DM. Lori reached down and gathered them all as Saul gagged Crumhorn. He took one look at the steam engine and DM nodded. 

"Now… I want you to stay at Augustus' palace when you rescue bagel. There is a chance that Squarkencluck's time scoop can home in on you…"

"Right," said Lori and Saul. 

"Now I want both of you to get out of here. I have a lab to destroy," said DM. Both humanized mice nodded as they left DM and Penfold to do their work. They rushed out into the night, wearing their improvised togas.

"Cor DM, I hope they can find Bagel!" gasped Penfold.

"So do I. Now, let's have some fun," Dm rubbed his hands together as he started spreading gunpowder over Crumhorn's lab. "Hmm I wonder if this is flammable…"

"MMMMMM!" Crumhorn whimpered as he saw DM bang a piece of tinder and flint together and let it drop before he pressed the button on his wristwatch.

"Ohh heck, it's gonna be a whacking great bang!" Penfold whimpered as he put his fingers in his ears.

***

Canus raced through the streets of Rome with Felinus at his heels, and Bagel clinging to his collar. They followed the elusive trail of the man Crumhornus into the dark of night. Silvery moonlight shone down on the roman road as they went through the night streets. Legionaries were out and patrolling the area and Bagel hoped that Canus could keep the trail so they could find DM and Penfold.

"This way…" he said.

"Patrol," mumbled Felinus. "Ware!"

The dog and cat ducked into the alleys and continued their search. A Roman patrol paid them no mind as they walked through the streets with their torches held aloft.

"Halt! Quo vadis!" shouted the legionary.

"Um… well…" came the voice of a human man.

"We're… heading to the Palace…"

"Are you plebeians? Or slaves? The man looks like a Palestinian!"

Canus ducked out and saw a man and woman wearing simple clothes, their feet bare. The man looked like a Palestinian, and the woman had long fair hair. Both had their hands above their heads. Bagel thought there was something familiar about both of them, but couldn't put her finger on it.

"What luck, two stupid slaves. Let's make the most of it," said Felonus.

"Wait," Canus said.

"They are slaves," said the other roman. "They do not look like citizens…"

"I'm a Gaelic slave," Lori said quickly. "We're a gift for Caesar…"

"And you, where are you from? Where is your master?" the legionary prodded Saul.

"I um…" he glanced at Lori, and she winked. Taking a step back they suddenly threw their hands up and sent them blocking the blow of the roman swords and spears. Lori's foot swept out and tripped the one legionary as Saul sent his fist into the face of the other. Both legionaries groaned as they fell to the ground.

"Wait… Bagel's near…" Saul gripped Lori's hand.

"Bagel!" Lori cried. "It's us! We've taken some of Crumhorn's potion! Please!"

"What?" Bagel gasped.

"It's a trick," said Felonus.

Suddenly a huge bang and shockwave rumbled the ground. Stones landed from the sky as a bright light split the night and Canus and Felonus whined at the noise. Bagel slipped out of his collar and ran into the alley where Saul and Lori stood. 

"Bagel…" said Lori. "Please…"

"Is that…" she gasped.

"IT is us," said a voice in her mind, and she saw the man's eyes glowing purple. She gasped as Lori leaned over and the hamster looked up. Fire flickered in a distant quarter of the city, and Canus and Felonus ran around, making noises. The two legionaries moaned.

"Fire!" Saul shouted. "The city's on fire!"

"Hurry up!" one legionary said to the other. Bagel looked up in wonder at the two human beings, and Lori held out her hand to pick Bagel up.

"How is this possible… it is you…" Bagel gasped.

"Yes," the man, who must be Saul, smiled. "DM sent us to find you…"

"WE have to get to a place where Squarkencluck's time scoop can home in on us," said Lori.

"Let's get out of the street at least," Saul suggested, taking Lori's hand and leading her away. She winced at the feel of the roman stones under her sensitive human feet, and followed him. That bang must have DM's signature all over it.

***

"You've got to find them!" Penfold wrung his hands as Squarkencluck twiddled knobs and punched buttons on his console.

"Eine minuten, ja? Dis ist und delicate operation…" Squarkencluck waved him away. Crumhorn glared at them all, still trussed to an antique roman chair. DM had kept a close eye on him, and he had changed back into his usual nasty self.

"You deserved it," DM said as he folded arms across his chest. "Trying to tamper with history. You bought a ticket to ride, and it's been cancelled."

"But Bagel…" groaned Penfold wringing his hands.

There came a blurbing noise and crackling as suddenly a little hamster appeared, and she blinked at everyone assembled. Two agents stepped forwards and took Crumhorn, chair and all into custody. Penfold squeaked in joy, as Bagel looked back and forth in confusion, rushing up to give her a hug. Grabbing her up he squeezed her tight and kissed both her cheeks. "Cor, thank heaven you're all right!"

"I will be if you stop squeezing the breath out of me!" she laughed as she hugged him back.

"But where are Lori and Saul?" asked DM.

"I'm having difficulties mit die machine…" Squarkencluck frowned.

"Well they DID change form," DM traced his foot on the ground. "To rescue us. Crumhorn got a taste of his own medicine…"

"I vill not ask u to explain that, nein," Squarkencluck shook his head. Suddenly two human beings appeared in the lab, and everyone tensed in fear as they were cramped into the space, sitting Indian style as their heads were in their laps.

"Crikey!" Penfold gasped.

"Good grief, it hasn't work off yet," DM sighed as he shook his head.

"Sorry," said Saul as he shook ceiling tile off his head. The roof had suddenly crumbled as both humans sat up in the small boffin's lab, blinking in the daylight.

"Whoops," Lori groaned.

Suddenly Crumhorn's pills wore off, and they shrunk to mouse size again, regaining their tails. They were lost in the huge sheets that piled around them. DM grabbed a robe nearby and raced over as Penfold and Bagel and Penfold rushed over. Lori's hand reached out and took the robe from bagel as Saul's hand reached out for the one DM handed him. Shyly both mice walked out with the robes on.

"Well, who vill pay for mein roff?" asked Squarkencluck.

"C'mon doc, we saved history," sighed Saul. "Give us a break!"

"Just put it on our tab," said DM as he walked over and gave Lori a hug. "I'm so glad to see you back to normal."

"Oh yes!" Bagel cried as she gave Lori a hug.

"Good job those pills wore off," said Penfold.

"Saul…" DM said as Saul stood aside from them, looking a bit awkward.

"Yes, DM?" he asked.

"You did… rather well after all," DM coughed slowly.

"Really?" Saul asked. "Are you sure? Did I perform to agency standards?"

"You hem… acquitted yourself very well," DM said, clearing his throat as he extended his hand. "I must…apologize for my former… attitudes. But this agency demands perfection."

"Maybe I'll be able to be like you someday then?" Saul winked, with a twinkle in his eye.

"Quite," DM nodded. "Now… perhaps you two would like to come back to the pillar box, and find a suitable change of clothing… and a hot cup of tea?"

"Oh yes!" Penfold nodded. "All this time travelling is making me ravenous!"

"Come along," DM nodded at Lori and Saul, who took one another's hands and followed DM and the two hamsters out. Squarkencluck scratched his head and shrugged. He saw the antique contraption DM had brought from the past and smiled.

"Ohh ein alte Roman steam engine! I could sell this for a mint to the British Museum!" he rubbed his hands together. Maybe he could avoid putting the damaged lab on the boffin tab for once!

***

The end!


End file.
